Duck

Duck

By Scott Bolohan

Illustration by Sam Williams

His real name wasn’t Duck, of course.

But Shane Thompson was born syndactyly, causing skin to connect his ring and pinky fingers up to just below the knuckle. The condition occurs to about one in 2,500, but it wasn’t completely unexpected, as his grandfather was as well. But the webbing was deemed simply cosmetic and wouldn’t interfere with the functionality of his hands. His parents, soon to be divorced and barely getting by as it was, weren’t interested in any extra expenses.

Shane had a relatively normal childhood with his grandfather in rural Pennsylvania. It wasn’t until the great American tradition of the handprint turkey art around Thanksgiving that Shane realized there was something different about him. Perhaps it was indifference or childhood innocence, but it took years for anyone else to notice.

It started with quacks behind his back. And then when he played tag in gym, one of the girls screamed when he tagged her.

He was Duck now, irreversibly.

His teacher told the class not to call people names, which just made everything worse. So he tried to pretend he didn’t hear anything the kids said and stopped doing anything that would draw attention to his hands. At recess, he read books.

The night before his first day of fourth grade, his grandfather found Shane in his room crying. “I was wondering when this would happen, happened to me too,” he said, holding up his hands. “Nothing to be ashamed of. Ducks are some of the most intelligent animals, quick learners. You know what I did that made those kids furious? I embraced it. I still have friends who call me Duck.”

The next day at class, Shane asked his teacher if she would call him Duck. After a great deal of hesitancy, and the insistence from his grandfather that it was okay, he was officially Duck.

At recess, he started playing sports again. If they were playing football, he was playing quarterback. If he was playing baseball, he was on the mound.

When he was 12, his grandpa taught him a circle changeup, tucking his thumb under his index fingers, the ring finger against the seam, the webbing between his ring finger and pinky neatly wrapping against the ball. The first time he threw it in a game, the batter was so far ahead of it that, yes, Duck snorted.

***

***

Illustration by Sam Williams

“Ducks Pitcher Giving Fans Something to Quack About”

CENTRAL ISLIP, N.Y.

Fans are hoping this is the start of a ‘Duck dynasty.’

Since joining the Ducks, Shane “Duck” Thompson has thrown twenty-six consecutive scoreless innings. The secret? His devastating changeup.

“My grandpa taught it to me when I was young,” Thompson said. “I was real self-conscious of my hands, but finding baseball gave me something I could be proud of.”

What may seem like a publicity stunt—a guy nicknamed Duck playing for the Long Island Ducks—couldn’t be further from the truth. Thompson has dominated this year and won over the hearts of Ducks fans.

I’ve never seen the fans embrace anyone like Duck before.

The Ducks leaned into the nickname, playing “Rubber Duckie” from Sesame Street for his intro music, encouraging the fans to chant ‘quack’ by playing Mighty Ducks clips, and even holding a rubber duck giveaway night, which didn’t quite go according to plan.

After Thompson picked up the final out, the fans threw their rubber ducks on the field, turning the field into a sea of yellow.

“That was pretty crazy,” Thompson said. “Obviously I’m glad they didn’t do it when the game was still going on and that no one got hurt. I’ll always remember it, but I don’t think they’ll have another one of those nights again.”

The team confirmed Thompson was right.

Thompson said he started going by Duck when he was a kid but had never been called ‘Rubber Duck’ before since he was mostly a starting pitcher. Now that he pitches in nearly every game, he said it makes sense.

“It’s fun, I like it,” Thompson said of the nickname. “I’ve been called worse things.”

The Ducks sit in first place and are attracting attention on social media. Videos of Thompson’s intro and the fans quacking and blowing duck whistles—which were subsequently banned by the league after complaints of the incessant noise—have been shared nearly a million times. Not bad for a team with around 15,000 followers on Twitter.

“Duck has breathed new light into this organization and the league,” Ducks GM Stephen Ramsey said. “He’s been great to work with, whenever we have an idea for a video, he’s always game.”

Thompson credits his grandfather for showing him his changeup. He was able to attend Rubber Duck night, the first time he saw Duck play professional ball. At the end of the game, he tossed his grandfather the ball from the final out.

“He was pretty emotional,” Thompson said. “To hear the crowd chant for me like they did, it always means a lot to me, but it meant even more to him.”

Thompson’s nickname comes from the webbing between his pinky and ring fingers caused by syndactyly. He doesn’t know if it helps his famous changeup, but he says it “couldn’t hurt.”

Thompson was a Division III second-team All-American last season as a starting pitcher at Susquehanna University but went undrafted before signing with the Long Island Ducks as bullpen help. He hopes to become the third player from his alma mater, and the first since Bob Clark pitched for Cleveland in 1921, to make the major leagues.

“I’ve been facing an uphill battle my whole life,” Thompson said. “It’s been my dream to make it to the big leagues ever since I first picked up a baseball. It honestly changed my life, gave me something I knew I was good at and could be proud of. I’m going to take this as far as I can go.”

***

September 14, 2028

Gramps,

You’ll never guess where I’m writing this. I’m on a plane to New York. I got called up to the big leagues. I wasn’t sure this would ever happen, and trust me, I know I wasn’t the only one. But you always believed in me. When I was told I didn’t throw hard enough for college, I was too small to go pro, all those years barely making any money in indy ball and the minors, every time I had someone tell me I couldn’t do something, I thought about you and knew I could.

These last couple years have been hard. There were so many times I thought about quitting. I wish you could be here with me tonight. I know you’ll never get to read this letter, but I’m going to keep it in my pocket during my games. It’ll be like you’re still here with me.

Love,

Duck

***

“After spending four years in the independent leagues and climbing his way up through the minor league system, Shane “Duck” Thompson is making his major league debut. This kid has quite a story. They call him Duck because his fingers are webbed. He only tops out in the mid-80s, but he’s supposed to have one impressive changeup.”

“Ask any major leaguer what the hardest pitch to hit is, and you know what they’ll tell you? It’s a changeup.”

“His debut comes at a tough spot, two on, two out in the 10th. Martinez is the hitter, one-for-four on the day with a single. He’s struggled against lefties this year. Fastball on the outside part of the plate for strike one.”

“That was only 83, almost like it was too slow for Martinez.”

“Thompson, 28, was a member of the Long Island Ducks for three years, winning two championships with them not too far from here. Now he’s making his debut at Yankee Stadium in front of a sold-out crowd. Thompson kicks and here’s the pitch. Strike two, slow curve ball on the inner half of the plate.”

“I don’t think Martinez was expecting that. Everyone in the ballpark was thinking changeup.”

“You’d have to think he’ll go to it now. Duck checks the runners. Here’s the pitch. Swung on and hit in the air, back goes Anderson. It is high, it is far, it is gone! Martinez walks it off! Theeeee Yankees win!”

***

TRANSACTIONS September 16, 2028

Major League Baseball

American League

BOSTON RED SOX — Designated OF Eduardo Rojas for assignment. Claimed SS Aiden Ward off waivers from Tampa Bay.

NEW YORK YANKEES —Sent INF Wil Valdez outright to Scranton/Wilkes-Barre (IL). Optioned C Ben Barnabas to Scranton/Wilkes-Barre.

TAMPA BAY RAYS — Transferred LHP Felix Miranda from the 15-day IL to the 60-day IL. Placed LHP Jerome Malone on the restricted list. Selected the contracts of LHPs Cooper Chadwick, Javy Bautista and RHP Joaquin Alfonso from Durham (IL). Optioned RHP Emerson Michaels and LHP Shane Thompson to Durham.

TEXAS RANGERS — Recalled RHP Erick Aguayo from Round Rock (PCL).

National League

MIAMI MARLINS — Optioned LHP Andrew Nichols to Jacksonville (IL). Selected the contract of RHP Bryan Zorn from Jacksonville. Recalled RHP Kyle Haring from Jacksonville.

PITTSBURGH PIRATES — Recalled INF Franklyn Castillo from Indianapolis (IL). Optioned INF Harold Park to Indianapolis.


Scott Bolohan is the founder of The Twin Bill and submitted this story under a very dumb pen name. His work has appeared in McSweeney’s and various defunct newspapers. He holds a master’s in creative writing from the University of Oxford, where he also played baseball as a member of the Oxford Kings, winning the 2016 batting title. Sometimes he also has a good changeup.

Sam Williams is a cartoonist, comics publisher and baseball enthusiast based in Bournemouth, UK.

The Twin Bill is a nonprofit organization with 501(c)(3) tax-exempt status. You can support The Twin Bill by donating here.