The Pursuit of Affirmation Begins, Shea Stadium, 1987

The Pursuit of Affirmation Begins, Shea Stadium, 1987

By Susie Aybar

I wear a belted mock turtleneck                                            
bloused over white parachute pants
hair moussed, bangs scrunched
 
“The Lady in Red” blares on the PA 
at Shea, we buy warm, salty pretzels 
Cracker Jacks with peanuts
 
We pull apart powder-blue cotton candy
as Keith Hernandez rounds first
clouds of puppy love, sticky and sweet
 
We watch the ‘87 Mets
I think they win
we ride home in the back of the dark blue Delta 88
 
The staticky AM station, a soundtrack
the only interference between us
and my parents in the front seat
 
When we scooch closer
my pants bunch from the velour bench seat
radio news crackles and hisses
 
His clammy hand reaches for mine
under the jean jacket between us
our faces meet underneath it
 
Remnants of pretzel and mustard linger
when his mouth opens
I feel the hard metal of braces
 
When we emerge, the headlights shine on us
awkward glances, auburn hair, freckled cheeks
in the black of the back seat, we’d been invisible
 
I see him years later, his hair faded red, beard speckled white
I smell the malty pretzel, hear the radio hiss
feel the plush darkness, first kiss 

Susie Aybar is Mets fan and a writer living in North Salem, NY. She received a BA from Duke University, a BSN from Northeastern University and an MFA from Manhattanville College. Her prose can be found in Literary Mama, FlashFlood Journal, Tiny Molecules, and Honeyguide Literary Magazine. Her poetry has appeared in The Twin Bill, The San Pedro River Review, The London Reader, Medical Literary Messenger, Speckled Trout Review and Anti-Heroin Chic. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram @saybar12 or connect with her at susieaybar.com.

Sam Williams is a cartoonist, comics publisher, and baseball enthusiast based in Bournemouth, UK.

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