Two Up, Two Down

Two Up, Two Down

By Chad W. Lutz

up 4-0 in the 9th
the pitcher sends
a lazy change
over the plate
where the batter
stands hungry
 
I’m out on the patio
watching cartoons
because I can’t
stand how racist
the team logo is anymore
 
the innocence of childhood
makes it easy to swallow
bitter pills
 
not anymore
 
my father watches
on the big screen
pretzels twisting
between his fingers
with the remote resting
on his belly like a plastic
see-saw peg
 
then comes
the racket
the ball off the bat
 
eyes light up
pulse quickens
I can see my dad
leap to his feet through
the sliding glass door
 
but it isn’t the
roar of the crowd I hear
it’s my father furious hollering
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
loud enough to shake the neighborhood
 
he shouts, “Fuck your entire mother fucking family!”
and it isn’t clear whether it’s for the pitcher
or the batter or the outfielder chasing
the double down the left field line
he’s just shouting
 
and it’s while staring
at the fresh cuts on my arms
from the windshield I punched
that old saying
about apples falling
feels as real
as the blood seeping
through my Band-Aids

Chad W. Lutz is a speedy, non-binary writer born in Akron, Ohio, in 1986 and raised in the neighboring suburb of Stow. They graduated from Kent State University with their BA in English in 2008 and from Mills College in Oakland, California, with their MFA in Creative Writing in 2018. Their first book, For the Time Being, is currently available through J. New Books.